Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize