when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
