Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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