i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
