worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
