you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
