real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
