sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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