I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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