I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
