i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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