Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
