I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
