I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
