You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
