Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
