He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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