So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I FOUND THE LEGS
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
