i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
