singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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