conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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