so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize