Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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