so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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