so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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