I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
