naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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