i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize