You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
