people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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