I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My vagina just recognized that song.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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