If i come over, it means nothing
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
