were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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