You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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