this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
