You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
