Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
