Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
