I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
