clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
