Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
