just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize
