his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
