she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
