Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
