dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
