I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
