As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
