Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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