she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This is classic penis vs brain.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
