Christians are straight up FREAKS
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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