i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
