I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
