Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
