I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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