So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I enjoy the company of your penis
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
