The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
