dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
