It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
