Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
