Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
